My life has been changed.
When I first understood a love that chose regardless of condition, I was overwhelmed with joy. I still marvel at this kind of commitment. I wanted to do it too…I wanted others to know this kind of love and began to practice it with….everyone. Yeah. . .so you can imagine how that went.
I was committed to people with whom there was not shared or agreed upon commitment. I felt obligated to each individual to manage or deal with their conditions. I was more than overwhelmed, I was drained. And what came after was resentment and bitterness.
But then, I learned about boundaries.
I still believe in an active, enduring, committal expression of love. I just know now we must wisely evaluate the measure of our abilities and choose wisely the depth of our investment. But it’s still a choice. And at the very least we owe everyone value, kindness. We owe everyone an assumption of goodness. We do not owe everyone what we value.
There is freedom in knowing this. Love laid down the law. . .in so many ways. At lovekulture we believe in the gospel story so we believe that the life, death and resurrection of Jesus did not remove the boundaries of behavior. The boundaries are still very much there, and there are likely repercussions for violating them. Yet, we are loved.
Here’s a video from respected speaker and writer Brene Brown. She says it soooo perfectly. When we set a measure of what is acceptable in our lives and what is not, we are free to choose and express a patient, committal kind of love. She says it better than me.