Ask my college roommate. She will tell you how apologetic I was to everyone and thing including my closet if I bumped into it. And if someone was angry with me, I’d lose sleep over it. Tossing and turning, wondering how I can mend a broken relationship or address an offense. More often than not, it turned into being blamed or accused, and often with me accepting the blame or accusation, neglecting my feelings.
So thankful to not be the same person anymore! That person was in destructive relationships with manipulative people. People who would much rather accuse than understand. People who knew they could approach me with their accusations because I cared. And being the kind of person who didn’t like broken relationships, I’d pursue their forgiveness or the relationship, trying to force something that just was not working.
Here’s a truth I’ve come to accept in my 30s. Every relationship is not meant to last until death. Time changes things. Life changes things. Our needs change. We change. And that’s okay. It is is also okay that our personhood does not vibe well with another person.
Does this mean we cannot love? No! Paul said as much as possible pursue peace with people. Love does not require relationship. Not all expressions of love requires intimacy.
I’d say the biggest accomplishment of my 30s right now is learning to let go of relationships that just didn’t work and not holding any grudges. I believe if our conscious is clean that we did all we could to act in love, we owe nothing more. Closure is for repentance and possibly reconciliation. After doing all that you can, there is nothing left to do, but just keep loving.