Am I the only one who likes to know why I’m loved? Interestingly, I don’t really ask my friends to explain or defend their reasons for loving me. My husband, on the other hand, went through several levels of interviews while we were dating. This was a person who didn’t grow up with me, who didn’t know me until we met. I just needed to know why. His response was: I chose to love you. I’d think, that’s not romantic at all! Where are the feelings? What do you feel?
Well, hubby is a sweet soul, but not much of a feeler compared to me. Not a man of many words, but one of action. One day, after being together for almost a year, it just clicked for me. He chose me. He chooses to love me. He loves me. Of course there are things he likes about me but when I am not my best self, when I’m not so virtuous, he is still there. He still tells me he loves me. When I make embarrassing mistakes, he tells me I’m wrong and sticks with me. Why does this sound familiar??
As I pray, I remind myself why I can. Why these unholy lips would dare approach the throne of grace boldly. And it is because He loved me. He chose me before the beginning*, while I was a stranger. He chose to love us. Still, it wows me. I think about the moment the Heavenly Father grieves at Adam and Eve’s shame and promises that their seed would crush the skull of the serpent, a metaphor for Jesus crushing Satan. I wonder if that was when He chose…..or did He decide to do whatever is necessary to keep us because He had already chosen us.
In my wild goose chase of pursuing love, I have made many unwise decisions. Some of them admittedly have hardened me. Some have made me more wise. My Father inspires me to choose love. God’s Spirit teaches and encourages me, and my husband has been an example for me.
Whether a friend, family, a spouse, or a stranger, the first to step to loving is to simply decide to do it. Love is ascribing worth and value. We must choose to value each other. We will not always understand, we will not always get along, and our levels of commitment will not all be the same. As I’ve mentioned before love does not require deep friendship; that’s organic. At the very least, love is a mere decision. That alone can be powerful.
*see ephesians 1:4-5